A Love Not Fragile

Fill me with incorruptible love.”

A few days ago, I thought I had offended a brother in Christ. I panicked as I began to imagine all sorts of ways the enemy could wedge his way in through misunderstanding and offense. I dropped to my knees and went to the Lord in prayer, asking Him to protect our genuine affection, to preserve our deep connection. As I prayed, the Holy Spirit gently communicated, “Do you really think my love that fragile?”

When I heard those words in my spirit, I sat back, my face still wet with tears and me full of the realization that yes, deep down inside it seemed I did think His love was that fragile. In that moment the Spirit began to minister to me about the true nature of God’s love— a love that is as strong as death. A love that is as unyielding as the grave. A love that burns like a blazing fire that many waters cannot quench, nor rivers wash away. 

This is the kind of love that disciples of Christ are called to have toward each other. A love not easily offended, nor one that keeps a record of wrongs. A love that bears all things and hopes all things, a love that always protects, always trusts, and always perseveres. A love that can be tested by the wrecking-ball of the enemy and not be found fickle, fragile, and wanting, because its incorruptible foundation is in Jesus Christ the Lord. 

Last night I had a dream. In the dream I was on my knees weeping, as I confessed both my need and desire to be filled with incorruptible love. O Lord, fill us with Your incorruptible love. 

(Rom 5:5) Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

(1 Pet 1:22,23) Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever..

(1 Cor 15:52,53) For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality.

Changing The Winds

Sometimes I wonder if my prayers change the winds 

If shipmasters look up to see the sails

Unexpectedly switch their billows from east to west

Sometimes I think about my travels in the dark place 

When I was destroying myself 

And allowing myself to be destroyed

It was so dark there 

But not so dark that the Lord couldn’t find me

Not so dark that He couldn’t reach me 

And lead me out

It took a long time to climb out of that place 

One day I laid on my bed in a fetal position 

I wept and cried out, “Oh Lord, send me an Angel!”

No angel came

Not one I could see, anyway 

But deliverance came

Salvation came…eventually

Because it took a long time to climb out of that place

Sometimes I think about all the mistakes I’ve made

Mistakes that seem vain and pointless 

Mistakes which seem like no discernible lesson was learned 

Mistakes that seem to have not shaped me at all

Other than exposing my selfishness and ignorance

Perhaps that was the lesson?

To face my own selfishness and ignorance 

Sometimes I wonder if my prayers change the winds 

Then I look up to see myself still here 

Unexpectedly switched from darkness to light

(Eph 5:8,9) For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light, for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth.

(Isaiah 42:16) I will lead the blind by a way they did not know; I will guide them on unfamiliar paths. I will turn darkness into light before them and rough places into level ground. These things I will do for them, and I will not forsake them.

(1 Pet 2:9) But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, to proclaim the virtues of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.

My Alabaster Jar

I don’t want to find myself at the end, standing on the bank of the Jordan holding my alabaster jar. 

This morning, as I began to meet with the Lord, I thought about what Amy Carmichael said about the alabaster jar. I read it a couple of days ago, and it has lingered in my mind, “[There are] some among us who love their Savior and yet have not broken [their alabaster jar] (John 12:3).” We see Mary taking the most precious thing she has, the greatest treasure she possesses, and she breaks it and pours it out onto the feet of Christ. She holds nothing back from her Savior, and when she pours everything she has out onto His feet, “the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.”

Over the last couple days, I’ve been pondering what I might be holding back from the Lord. What treasure might I be keeping for myself? What is my alabaster jar? And the answer that came to me is, “My time.” Time is my most precious commodity, for every second of my day is filled to the brim with need and necessity. Time is something that I literally have no excess of to spare. Time is a treasure to me, it is my alabaster jar that I keep tucked away for myself to indulge in stolen moments as I please, rather than pouring them out upon the feet of my Lord. 

In writing one of my recent devotionals, I spoke of the necessity for us to leave the banks of the Jordan and step into the waters of experience, because at some point, our faith must transcend the realm of “notion” and enter the realm of “actuality. As I prayed this morning, I told the Lord that I did not want to be found at the end of my life standing on the banks of the Jordan, clutching my alabaster jar. 

I want to be found in the deep waters, with my jar broken and the perfume spilled out all over His feet. 

(John 12:2,3)  …Martha served, and Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with Him. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.

(Song of Sol 1:3,12)  The fragrance of your perfume is pleasing; your name is like perfume poured out… While the king was at his table, my perfume spread its fragrance.

(Matt 22:36,37) “Teacher, which commandment is the greatest in the Law?” Jesus declared, “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”

(Prov 9:16-18) “Let all who are simple come to my house!” To those who have no sense she says, “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!” But little do they know that the dead are there, that her guests are deep in the realm of the dead.

In My Lane

“I’m in my lane.”

My High School students had their first grammar test today. They used their study hall period this morning to go over their study guide, and a few of them still had questions, so their study hall teacher, who is also their marine biology teacher, was gracious enough to allow me to come to the classroom and work through the answers to the study guide on the board. As I taught and answered questions by doing the work on the board, she sat there wide-eyed and at a loss and said, “It’s like you’re speaking another language!” In an attempt to reassure her that her lack of grammar knowledge was not a reflection of any lack of biology skill on her part, I replied, “I’m in my lane.” 

English language arts is my lane. It’s what I do, and it’s what God has gifted me to do. Science is her lane. It’s what she does, and it’s what God has gifted her to do. If I were to sit through one of her classes on shark biology, I would sit there wide-eyed and at a loss, as if she were speaking another language… because biology is not my lane. I can’t compare myself to someone else, using the qualifications of their lane. And we can’t make this same mistake in the Body of Christ, either. 

For example, I’m very good at meeting practical needs, but my sister is very good at meeting emotional needs. If someone expected me to meet their emotional need in the same manner as my sister could, then frustration will enter into the picture and inevitably give birth to all sorts of other weeds-in-the-garden, like bitterness, resentment, and criticism. We must not expect things from others that they are not equipped to give. Or perhaps, we must not set a bar for someone at a height that they are not capable of reaching. We must remember that we each have a lane…

…and our job is to encourage each other as we shine in them. 

(1 Cor 12:4-6,11) There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different ways of working, but the same God works all things in all people… All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

(1 Cor 12:14,25-27) For the body does not consist of one part, but of many… there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other… If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it. Now you are the body of Christ, and each of you is a member of it.

(Heb 3:13; 10:24,25) But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness… And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Lessons From The Pumpkin Patch

Lessons from the pumpkin patch…

Late this spring, I decided to plant a pumpkin patch in a large, unused area of our yard. After planting the seeds, I shared some of the insight the Spirit brought to mind in a post I made on 4/19/22. Yesterday, as I began to clean up a summer’s worth of pumpkin patch growth and harvest what was produced, the Spirit once again began to minister to me “lessons from the pumpkin patch”….

1. “Everything works against fruit production.” From the moment the seed is in the ground, it will have to face challenge after challenge to grow and bear fruit. The weather, pests and pestilence, and even the ground itself, will constantly work against the health and productivity of the plant. The plant must overcome each obstacle for it to continue to thrive and bear fruit. (Matt 13:3-8,18-30)(Rev 2:7,11,17,26; 3:5,12,21)

2. “No two pumpkins look alike.” As I walked through my pumpkin patch looking for pumpkins, most of the fruit was hidden in the overgrowth. But each time I found a little treasure-in-the-grass, it looked different than the one I found before. Each one was a unique shape and shade of orange or white. Each one varied in size. No two pumpkins looked alike, but they were all indeed pumpkins. (1 Cor 12:4-20)

3. “The fruit must be harvested within a specific window of time.” Since I’ve never grown pumpkins before, I waited too long to harvest them and some of them were rotten. But if I had harvested them too soon, they would have been unripe and useless. Indeed, the fruit must be harvested because it wasn’t meant to be on the plant forever (ie: exterior structures; whereas Christ is our eternal interior structure), but it can only be done within a specific window of time— too soon and the fruit is immature and bitter, or too late and the fruit is diseased and rotten. Either way, the farmer has no crop, no return, no reward for all that work. (Rev 14:14-18; 18:2-5)

For those who have ears to hear, let them hear. 

The Experience Must Come

The experience must come. 

For a long time I used to pray, “Lord, make me wholly thine.” I prayed that, and I meant it. But one day the Holy Spirit showed me that in many respects, we pray that while still standing on the banks of the Jordan. One day, as I prayed, “Lord make me wholly thine…” He pointed out that I was leaving off the last, and most important part, which was: “…by whatever means necessary.”

We may stand on the banks of the Jordan and pray with true desire in our heart, but at some point, we must act upon our desire to be “wholly thine” and step into the waters of experience. At some point, our faith must transcend the realm of “notion” and enter the realm of “actuality.” In other words, faith must leave the banks of the Jordan and be walked out in its deep waters. 

The problem with deep waters, is that there is no ground beneath your feet. In deep waters, you are at the mercy of the current— a thing in which you have absolutely no control over. It’s sink or swim, and sometimes it feels a whole lot more like “sink” than “swim.” But to be “wholly thine” means that we are so, whether we sink or swim. If we sink, we find the Lord was beneath us the whole time. If we swim, we find the Lord was beneath us the whole time. We tend to see sink or swim as a fail or succeed dichotomy, but the truth is, whether we are abased or abounding, we are still in Christ. Whether sinking or swimming, He is there. 

Beloved, He is the creator of the waters, and as the waters surround us, so does He. 

(Phil 4:11-13) I am not saying this out of need, for I have learned to be content regardless of my circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

(Is 43:1,2)  …O Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you go through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched; the flames will not set you ablaze.

(Is 41:9,10) I brought you from the ends of the earth and called you from its farthest corners. I said, ‘You are My servant.’ I have chosen and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness.

(Joshua 3:13) And it will come about when the soles of the feet of the priests who carry the ark of the LORD, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan will be cut off, that is, the waters which are flowing down from above; and they will stand in one heap.”

The Way Of Love

Love is a choice, more so than mere emotion.

I must admit, that I am still working through this truth revealed by our Savior. I have often asked the Lord to help me love someone, simply because I did not feel “loving” emotions for them.  I have also often thought that I was failing to love someone, because I wasn’t feeling “loving” emotions toward them. But what the Lord has made increasingly clearer to me, is that love is not really something we feel, it is something we do. Love, according to God, is a choice. 

Love is choosing to do the right thing— regardless of whether you feel like it, regardless of whether we think someone deserves it, regardless of what others may think love looks or feels like… and regardless of whether we will be loved in return.  In Paul’s description of “the way of love” at 1 Cor 13, one will notice that each elucidation is a choice, each quality is an action. None of Paul’s descriptions are emotions. Patience and kindness are actions I choose. Likewise, I choose not to be envious, boastful, proud, rude, self-seeking, or easily-angered. I choose to keep no record of wrongs. And I choose to not reason like a petulant child. 

Protect, trust, hope, persevere— these are actions I choose. But love itself, comes from something much greater than myself, which is why Paul is able to say, “Love never fails” (v. 8). Beloved, we may be dead to sin, but our humanity is still prone to failure. However, love will never fail, because the Apostle John teaches that God is love (1 John 4:16), and God cannot fail. Love is not necessarily something that is felt, but is walked-out. So, as long as I am indeed abiding in Christ…

…I am able to choose to walk “the way of love” in the palm of His unfailing hand. 

(1 Cor 14:1) Follow the way of love…

(1 Cor 13:4-8,11) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…

(1 Cor 13:11) When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

(Phil 3:12-14) Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me… I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus.