The Only One

The other day I was in heartfelt prayer with God, asking Him for His presence, crying out for Him to say something.  I was weeping because I so desperately wanted Him to tell me what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong, to give me clear directions.  During that time of intense seeking, I imagined the day that I will finally hear Him say my name, the day that I will finally see His glorious face, and as I sat there slumped over, praying and weeping, He impressed something deeply upon my heart:  "I love you as if you were the only one."  That one sentence, in all it's appropriate perfection, was the food that my soul was so desperately longing for.

That is how God loves each one of us.  God's love for you is as if you were the only one.  Paul tells us, "For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes [the time of perfection; completeness] the partial passes away... Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." (1 Cor 13:9-12).

My NASB translation also puts verse 12 this way:  "Now we see but a dim reflection as in a mirror; but then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."  I can't decide what fills me with more wonder and longing:  to know that I am "fully known" by God, or to know that there will come a day in which I will know God fully and completely, even as I am now fully and completely known by Him.

Meditate on the fact that God knows you fully and completely.  Every sigh, every joy, every struggle, every victory, every defeat, every moment, meticulously recorded and pored over by the eyes of the Creator of the universe, the Author of all reality, "the Founder and Perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him, endured the cross..." (Heb 12:2).  The joy that was set before Him was us.  We are His joy.


"Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and rejoice with an inexpressible and glorious joy.." (1 Peter 1:8)

"Jesus said to him, 'Because you have seen Me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen, and yet have believed.'" (John 20:29)

"And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of His love, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." (Eph 3:17-19)

Abandoned

There are many hurtful emotions that we will struggle with through the duration of our time here on this side of heaven-- despair, discouragement, anger, resentment, bitterness, sorrow.  But in my opinion, there is no negative emotion so quite like abandonment.  I think it's because abandonment, at its core, is such a multi-faceted emotion-- involving a sense of betrayal, a sense of being forsaken and cast away, all mixed together with a sense of worthlessness.  It involves trust issues which affect us on a primal level.  No matter what age we are when we experience abandonment, in our mind we feel like we are a helpless child at the mercy of our circumstances. 

Of all the emotions that Jesus experienced during the last week of His life here on earth, I feel very strongly that His sense of being abandoned was likely the most riveting and acute.  All those who were closest to Him, all those in whom He had invested His life and teachings, all those whom He trusted to be there for Him when He needed them most, were scattered and gone.  We are given a vivid picture of His sense of abandonment when the Gospels record His cry toward heaven as He hung on the cross, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" (Matt 27:46).  I think one of the things we so easily forget about Jesus' crucifixion was that He was utterly alone and utterly abandoned the last twelve or so hours of His life.  He made the greatest sacrifice in all of creation and He did it alone.  Abandoned.

After Jesus was crucified, those who followed Him and believed in Him experienced their own sense of abandonment.  All their hopes and dreams, all the good they imagined being accomplished through Jesus' continuing ministry on earth, was shattered and gone.  What confusion they must have felt?  What a sense of discombobulation, as they reassessed their purpose and their mission.  As they reassessed all that Jesus had promised, and now He was gone.  Had they misplaced their faith?  Had they been deceived?  I can imagine Peter replaying his conversation with Jesus, after many of Jesus' disciples left Him during His ministry after His teaching on being the Bread of Life, when Jesus told them "..unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in yourselves." (John 6:53).  Jesus asked His disciples, "You do not want to go away also, do you?"  To which Peter replied, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:67,68).  Now that Jesus was gone-- dead, crucified, and entombed-- to whom would they go?  Abandoned.

Abandonment is an emotion I have unfortunately experienced more times than I care to recount. People who should have been there for me, but weren't.  People I should have been able to trust and depend on, but couldn't.  People I thought were going to stay with me, but left.  Every time, in my mind, reverting back to a helpless child at the mercy of my circumstances.  Abandoned.

But one very important thing that we must remember is that we cannot use our circumstances or emotions to define God's character.  Our circumstances and emotions will always change, but God does not change and neither do His promises.  Even now, as I write this, there are circumstances in my life in which I am tempted to feel abandoned by God.  My circumstances make me ask, "What are You doing God?"  To which He replies over and over again, "I am tending my sheep." 

You see, Jesus is the Good Shepherd, "I am the Good Shepherd.  The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep." (John 10:11).  Jesus purchased us with His blood; we are His sheep and He is our Shepherd.  Jesus, anticipating the Disciples' sense of abandonment after they saw Him crucified, spoke to them before all those things happened and said, "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:18).   And again, after Jesus' resurrection, He told them, "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matt 28:20).  

Despite whatever sense of abandonment our circumstances may seem to convey, we must use God's word to define His character.  And His word tells us that He is the Good Shepherd, Who laid down His life for us and purchased us with His own blood.  He has promised us that He will never leave us as orphans and that He is with us always, even to the very end of the age.  No matter how tempted we are to allow a sense of abandonment to become our embrace, we must look that temptation in the face and proclaim the truth of God's character and the great promises we have been given in His word.  We are not abandoned.

"I will ask the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, Whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." (John 14:16-18)

"Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.  If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way to where I am going." (John 14:1-4)

"I am the Good Shepherd; the Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.  He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them.  He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep.  I am the Good Shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep." (John 10:11-15)