A Searching Heart

There are so many in the world that are looking for something real about God, something authentic, and they come to the church thinking that they will find Him there, but many leave even more frustrated than they were when they arrived.  I looked for God in the church, but I could not find Him.  I found opinions, I found beliefs, I found religion and fellowship, but I never found God there.  I heard stories about Him.  I listened to people's ideas about Him, but the God I so desperately searched for remained elusive to me.  It was confusing to me because of all the places we should be able to find God, you would think that the church should be at the top of the list.  But the way to God is not through the church, it is through Jesus Christ.

I looked for God in the church and I did not find Him there.

I looked for Him in the Catholic Church and I only found reverence for Him, but not Him.

I looked for Him in the Methodist Church but I only found ideas about Him, but not Him.

I looked for Him in the Charismatic Church and I found celebration of Him, but not Him.

I looked for Him in the Baptist Church and I found pride in Him, but not Him.

I found God in my wandering.

I've been searching for You.

.......I was here.

Why did you let me wander?

.......Because it was the path that would lead you to Me.

You were not where I thought You would be.

.......But yet, you still found Me.

Yes.  Yes I did.

I'm glad You let me wander

Because now I understand

Those who seek you with all their heart

Will find you in the desolate place

Where all the noise and busyness fades away

And there are no background voices arguing over what You are like

Only silence

Only You

Only me

You reveal Yourself in that intimate place

You quietly speak Your terms

And let us contemplate them

And then You reach out for us to take Your hand

Or to refuse it

But my soul cannot refuse You

Because You are the source of my very being

You are my food

My water and my bread

You are my river in the desert

My path along the mountains

Where you lead, I will follow

And I will dwell in Your house

Upon Your holy mountain

All the days of my life, and forevermore

Jesus never said the church was the way, He said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." (John 14:6).  We make the mistake of trying to find God through people, and God said the only way we can ever find Him is through Jesus Christ.  Jesus never commanded us to give Him to other people because we can't.  I can't give you Jesus. Only Jesus can give you Himself.  It is a divine encounter that can't be produced by, nor come from, any human being.  Salvation is between you and Jesus Christ.  I can only do what My Lord  commanded, which is to disciple people in His ways and teach people what He taught (Matt 28:19,20).  Only Jesus can give you Himself, not me, not your preacher, or priest, or mom or dad, or spouse.

I looked for God in the church but I found Him by searching and reading my Bible, and I grew in understanding of Him through intimate prayer.  If you want to know God, read your Bible.  If you want to understand Him, spend intimate time with Him in prayer.  I cried out to God in existential woe to understand Him and His response to me was, "Read what I've already given you and we'll build from there."  God didn't give us Scripture insomuch to encourage us or empower us, but to strip us.  To strip us naked of our own reason and understanding so He can clothe us with knowledge of Who He truly is and what He is truly like. The true church is simply the supernatural gathering of those indwelled by His Spirit.  The true church is not a hospital for sinners or a building or a denomination, it is the assembling of those who have truly found their way to God through Jesus Christ. 

You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. (Jer 29:13)

I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me find Me. (Prov 8:17)

But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. (Deut 4:29)

So I say to you:  Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Luke 11:9)

In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears. (Ps 18:6)

One thing I have asked of the Lord; this is what I desire:  to dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek Him in His temple. (Ps 27:4)