Feet That Are Wont To Wander

I often get caught up in wrong thinking.  I stray into the mindset that I must do this or that, or pray for so many hours to be worthy enough for God to use me or speak to me.  Like, He will only work through me when I have fulfilled my part.  It is the poisonous mindset that I have to meet God halfway, as if somehow I could work my way into His favor and make myself usable through my own strength and by my own effort.

I stray into this mindset because I know that scripture says that if I will turn away from wickedness and cleanse myself from what is unfit, then He will use me for a special purpose (2 Tim 2:19-21).

I stray into this mindset because I know that scripture says that it is the pure in heart who will see God (Matt 5:8).

I stray into this mindset because I know that scripture says to make every effort to be holy, because without holiness, no one will see the Lord (Heb 12:14).

I stray into this mindset because I know that scripture says God upholds those who follow hard after Him (Ps 63:8) and to seek Him with our whole heart, and only then will He be found (Jer 29:13).

I stray into this mindset because Christ tells us to make every effort to enter through the narrow door because many will try and not be able (Luke 13:24).

I stray into this mindset because God's word to us implies a level of obligation and obedience on our part.  

We are told over and over again in scripture to turn from wickedness, to pursue holiness and that our love for Christ would be evidenced by our obedience (John 14:15-26).

But when it becomes more about my own effort, than about His sustaining grace, I lose my way and veer off the narrow path.  At Luke Chapter 12, Jesus said to seek God's kingdom and He will provide all our needs (12:31).  The parallel account at Matthew 6:33 expounds upon Jesus' meaning of seeking God's kingdom by adding, "..and His righteousness."  As Christians, we should long for righteousness in our heart.  That is an indicator of the genuine presence of the Holy Spirit in a true believer.  As a believer matures, that longing for righteousness will intensify.  And as that longing intensifies, so does that believer's ability to turn away from wickedness and sin.

When Jesus says that God will provide all our needs when we seek His kingdom and His righteousness, we tend to limit those Godly provisions to material needs, but He also meant that God would supply all our spiritual needs as well.  Our longing for righteousness is placed within our heart purely by the grace of God through our faith in Christ.  And we know that it is put there purely by His grace and through no effort of our own because immediately after Jesus instructs His disciples to seek God's kingdom, He tells them, "Do not be afraid little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom" (Luke 12:32).  As if He already anticipates our frustration at trying to obey His command through our own strength.

My problem is, sometimes I forget this.  Sometimes I forget to actively place my faith in the fact that God is on my side-- that He is rooting for me, not against me.  That He is not placing obstacles in my path, but removing them.  Sometimes I get caught up in seeking His kingdom like I am trying to obtain it through some sort of spiritual obstacle course, and forget that He has already freely given it.  Jesus isn't telling us to work for it like we are trying to earn it or obtain it, but like Matthew's parallel account points out, Jesus is telling us to make it our primary devotion-- to let our lives revolve around the pursuit of righteousness, for God and His holiness to be first in our lives and in the desire of our hearts.  God is after our heart, because it is our heart which will ultimately drive our efforts.  God is after our heart, because it is our heart that leads to the opening of the narrow door (Luke 13:24).

It is a very narrow path between the mindset of trying to earn God's kingdom on the one hand, versus the mindset of "I am covered by His grace, therefore no effort on my part is necessary" on the other.  Both are equally wrong and both are equally spiritually damaging when the pendulum swings too far toward one side or the other.  The only way we can walk such a narrow path is to be in intimate fellowship with our Savior.  Without such intimate fellowship, a believer-- and even the church itself-- falls out of balance, off the narrow path and onto the broad road leading to spiritual deception, and ultimately, spiritual destruction.  Many in the church today are on such a path-- a path on one side of the narrow way or the other-- because of gross neglect of prayer and spiritual intimacy with their Savior.

After Jesus tells the Disciples to seek God's kingdom and that it is the Father's good pleasure to give us the kingdom, He then tells them, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Luke 12:34).  Therefore, if your heart longs for the narrow way, it is God's great pleasure to enable you to tread it. Thus, it is not about our ability to walk such a path in our own effort, but rather, it is about the longings of our heart.  The longing within us for righteousness and obedience and our surrender to such longing, which will ultimately drive our efforts.  The longing that is placed within us by His grace and a longing that can only be fed through intimate fellowship with Him.  And when I remind myself of that, as I often have to do, my straying feet are once again pointed back in the right direction.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me.  I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in Me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.  This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be My disciples." (John 15:1-8)