The Necessary Cliff

I find it remarkable that after all my “Christian” striving and acquiring, the end of my path still leads to the foot of the cross. I have found myself in this place before.

A few years ago, after serving in the church for seven years, in the middle of my junior year at Moody Bible College, I sat on the floor by the side of my bed and wept, shoulders slumped over in despair and exhausted, as the true understanding of the cross of Christ came crashing down all around me. Broken, defeated, humiliated, confused. I asked God, “Why?” All that time, all that work, all that effort, and it only led to the end of myself. It only led to the realization that the only thing I really accomplished was to learn how not to follow Jesus, how not to serve Jesus, to learn what church wasn’t, what Christianity wasn’t. After all my effort, I found myself at the dead-end of a path that led to a rough-hewn cross.

Even then, He allowed me to get up and think, “I will now continue on, I will rise higher, I will go further as I seek the Lord where He may be found.” He let me get up and walk. He let me read all the books and pray all the prayers and hear all the teachings. He let me strive for holiness and acquire knowledge, yet time after time, when I round the final corner and look up to see what I have gained, the end of the path is the foot of the cross. Whether walking after wisdom, holiness, patience, love, or whatever endeavor, whatever pursuit, His answer has always been the same. The path has always led to the foot of the cross.

After all this time, I have learned that the cross is our necessary cliff. Beloved, we must come to this understanding. The foot of the cross is where all our wandering and pursuits and endeavors will always lead. The cross sits at the end of every path we take in the name of the Lord. It sits upon a cliff that overlooks a vast, impassable chasm. For it is here that we must come the understanding that to go on any further, we cannot do it by human ingenuity or effort. It is here that we must understand that our hands are nailed to this cross so that we cannot work according to our own will, and our feet are nailed so that we cannot walk the path of our own reasoning and desire. The only way forward, the only way off this cliff is to be pinned down hand-and-foot and die to yourself. Completely.

Oswald Chambers speaks of this cliff as the place where you stop being, and Christ begins living in you and through you. The place where we “stop being the intensely striving Christian” we have been. Because to go further from this place—this cliff which overlooks an impassable abyss—we do not strive for goodness or practice religion, we yield to death (Rom 6:3). It is here, on this cliff, that we learn to wait upon the Lord. It is here that He teaches our soul how to correctly seek Him and wait quietly for His salvation (Lam 3:25, 26). It is here, as we sit in darkness and silence and unknowing, that He teaches us that He is gracious and merciful (Isaiah 30:18), that He is faithful to hear us (Micah 7:7), and it is in the discipline and agony of waiting that our strength is renewed and we are given wings like an eagle to mount up from this cliff and soar over the abyss and into His eternal provision (Isaiah 40:30,31).

You see beloved, for so long I said in my heart, “I will continue, I will rise, I will go, I will work, I will teach, I will preach, I will acquire…” But for so long, all my striving was in my own strength. The Lord allows this to teach us. He allows us to seek Him in our own strength, but the end of that path is the same for all of us. And we either face that truth now and willingly yield to it, or we will face it later and be judged by it.

(Col 3:1-3) Therefore, since you have been raised with Christ, strive for the things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you have died, and your life has been hidden with Christ in God.

(Gal 2:20) I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

(Romans 6:5-7) For if we have been united with Him like this in His death, we will certainly also be united with Him in His resurrection. We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin. For anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

(Acts 17:30,31) Although God overlooked the ignorance of earlier times, He now commands all people everywhere to repent. For He has set a day when He will judge the world with justice by the Man He has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising Him from the dead.

Blessed Are The Merciful

Last night I slept fitfully. Through the night, the Spirit roused me several times asking the same question: “What is between the cherubim?” At least four or five times I was roused with the same question being put into my mind: “What is between the cherubim?” And each time I would answer, “The presence of God…” and fall back into unconsciousness. The last time I was roused by the Spirit asking “What is between the cherubim?”, I woke up completely as I realized something else, and I said, “Mercy….it’s the mercy seat…mercy is between the cherubim.”

On top of the Ark of the Covenant, the cherubim face each other and between the convex of their wings, the presence of God would appear. But the cherubim sit upon the lid of the Ark and that lid is called “the mercy seat”, or the literal meaning of the Hebrew word “kipporeth” which means “a cover over sin” (Ex 25:17-22). It is in this place of covering over sin that God teaches us that He is merciful. It is only because of His mercy that we have propitiation for our sin, and it is in this place of mercy that He meets with us to speak to us and be in relationship with us (Ex 25:22).

Because our very existence and relationship with God is only because of His mercy, and because we were created to bear His image, He requires us to be merciful as well. This was why Jesus pronounced judgment upon the Pharisees at Matthew 23:13-36. When reading this passage, the rules of interpretation apply, most importantly the rule of literary genre. The Gospels are narrative, and narrative is description not prescription. Narrative describes events, and our job is to determine what the spiritual principles are in the text and how to apply them. Sometimes there is nothing for us to apply, there is only information given to us for understanding. Therefore in this particular passage, we are reading a description of Jesus passing His final sentence upon the Pharisees, He is formally declaring heavenly judgment here, rather than us being given a prescription for a behavior model. Only God can pass a sentence like this, not us.

In this passage of Jesus’ pronouncement of judgment, He tells them at verse 23, “Woe to you…for you tithe mint and dill and cumin and have neglected the weightier provisions of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness…these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.” The Pharisees judged according to the flesh, rather than according to the Spirit and their judgment was merciless (John 8:15,16). At Matthew 9:13, when the Pharisees condemn Jesus for eating with sinners and tax collectors, Jesus tells them, “Go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice,’ for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” And again at Matthew 12:7, when the Pharisees condemn Jesus’ followers for breaking the Sabbath Jesus tells them, “But if you had known what this means, ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice,’ you would not have condemned the innocent.”

When Jesus repeats Himself, we need to listen. Jesus is quoting Hosea 6:6 in these passages, where God says, “I delight in mercy rather than sacrifice, and in the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.” Again, God says at Micah 6:8, “He has told you, O man, what is good: And what does the Lord require of you but to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” This is God’s word to us right now, to me, to you, to all those who call themselves by His name. To all those who bring their brother or sister before the throne of God and levy charges against them, calling out their sin. What God want us to understand is that we must tread humbly here. We must be careful not to trespass into a place that is only reserved for God.

Jesus instructs us that our judgement must be without hypocrisy, which means we must first allow our own hearts to be searched and sifted before we attempt to remove the speck from someone else’s eye (Matthew 7:3-5). He also warns us that the standard of measure we use, will be the standard of measure used upon us (Matt 7:2). Therefore, we are warned by James that we must “speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom. For judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment” (Ja’s 2:13).

Brothers and sisters, I tremble as I write this because Jesus is coming back to judge this earth and none of us will escape His judgment seat (2 Cor 5:10). And we see at Matthew 25:31-46, when Jesus returns for judgment and divides the sheep from the goats, His standard of measurement is those who showed mercy. So the Spirit asks, “What is between the cherubim?” And what He wants us to understand is that mercy…...mercy is between the cherubim. The place where we meet God is a place of mercy, and thus, that should be a reflection of how we meet with everyone else.

(Matt 6:14,15) For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

(Matt 5:7-9) Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

(Luke 6:35-37) But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

(John 7:24) Stop judging by outward appearances, and start judging justly.

(2 Cor 10:6) You are looking at outward appearances. If anyone is confident that he belongs to Christ, he should remind himself that we belong to Christ just as much as he does.

(1 Cor 4:3-5) I care very little, however, if I am judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not vindicate me. It is the Lord Who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

Tested Trust

Will you trust Me when you cannot hear Me,

When it seems like I’m not there?
Will you trust Me in the trenches,
In the darkness and despair?
Will you trust Me when you’re hurting,
And there seems no end in sight?
Will you trust Me when it seems you’re forsaken,
And I call upon you to die?

Will you trust Me only in the good times,
Or will you also trust Me in the bad?
Will you trust Me only when you are happy,
Or also when you are sad?
Will you trust Me only when you understand,
Or also when you don’t?
Will you trust Me only when My answer is “I will,”
Or also when I say “I won’t”?

You say that you have faith
You say that you believe
But when I put you to the test
Will you turn back and retreat?

You see, a faith that is never tested
Is really no faith at all
A promise that is not kept
Remains behind the wall

The wall of fire must be stepped through
To prove that you believe
It is only those who do this
Who truly have my eternal seed

The crucible is for silver
And the furnace is for gold
The wall of fire tests everyone
The only difference is the mold

(2 Tim 2:19-21) Nevertheless, God’s firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord must turn away from iniquity.” A large house contains not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay. Some indeed are for honorable use, but others are for common use. So if anyone cleanses himself of what is unfit, he will be a vessel for honor: sanctified, useful to the Master, and prepared for every good work.

(Prov 17:3) A crucible for silver and a furnace for gold, but the Lord is the tester of hearts.

(1 Cor 3:13- 15) If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, or straw, his workmanship will be evident, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will prove the quality of each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss. He himself will be saved, but only as if through the flames.

Come Lord Jesus

I’m not even gonna try to act like I’m some kind of wise sage that always has something super deep and meaningful to say, because I don’t. Today as I wept and prayed I simply said, “Jesus please come back and sort out this gigantic mess we’ve made.”

I’m gonna be real honest here….religious people make me tired. I know that may sound terrible, and I know that some of you may be wondering what I mean since I’m constantly yapping about Jesus, but I’m just being painfully transparent. There are times where I look around at all our church-dom and think, “…I’m thinkin’ that you’re thinkin’ that you are helping God and speaking on His behalf, but I really don’t think you are. I’m thinkin’ you might be speaking from your own heart, not His.” I fear God, I tremble before Him because I am aware of my limitations and ignorance, so I often ask God to show me my wrong way of thinking. I pray for Him to not allow me to think I am doing Him a service when I’m really not. And lately I’ve been wondering if all of us are praying that like we should. 

I’ve taken a break from Facebook because it gets so loud on there. Everyone has something to say, something to teach. When I look at what church-dom has become I think of Isaiah’s words at 47:13, “You are wearied by your many counsels…” Lately, I have felt the weight of that in my soul. I look around and think to myself, “Do any of us really know? We’re all looking around thinking this or that person knows, but the only one who truly knows is Jesus, so I’mma stick with Him.” I’ve withdrawn for a little while because I don’t want to be just another voice adding to the confusion. I don’t want to be fodder, I want to give people real food. And honestly, as I sit here in the darkness and silence for a little while, I’ve asked God to teach me what real food is because sometimes I wonder if we really know anymore. Our counsels are so many—so many voices, so many perspectives of Scripture and opinions and teachings. Lord, help us we are drowning in a stormy sea of our own making. 

So, my prayer lately is for Christ to bring us back to the basics. To raze the monstrosity of church-dom to its foundation, so that He can build, instead of us. To close our mouths as we sit in the dust and remember we are dust. To sit in the darkness and silence for a little while so that we can learn to truly trust Him. So that we can really make sure we are hearing His voice, rather than our own. To make sure we are truly following Him, rather than someone else. Brothers and sisters, I say this as a plea that you may join me in my simple prayer: “Jesus please come back and sort out this gigantic mess we’ve made…”

(Psalm 127:2) Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain; unless the Lord protects the city, its watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for bread to eat—for He gives sleep to His beloved.

(Isaiah 26:20,21) Go, my people, enter your rooms and shut your doors behind you. Hide yourselves a little while until the wrath has passed. For behold, the Lord is coming out of His dwelling to punish the inhabitants of the earth for their iniquity. The earth will reveal her bloodshed and will no longer conceal her slain. 

(John 21:20-22) Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them…When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain until I return, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

Ministers Of Milk And Meat

Life is simple for my five-year old daughter. She knows nothing of the world other than her family, her likes, her dislikes. There is a very complicated world that surrounds her, but she is incapable of perceiving it because she is five. For me, life is not quite so simple. I have lived through mistakes, I have witnessed tragedy, I have seen real evil, I have a depth of understanding of life and the world that my five year-old daughter does not. I know about bills and taxes and cancer and rape and abortion and economics and politics and history. Because I understand more, I am able to perceive that my daughter’s simple life is couched in a much more complicated world. 

I teach my daughter at the pace she is able to comprehend. If I tried to tell her about all the other things in the world that lay outside of her simple perception of it, it would make no sense to her. Whatever I tell her would mean nothing because she has no ability to relate to it, because she is five, and she has only experienced simplicity. As we go through life and we gain experience, as we walk through myriad circumstances, both good and bad, we gain understanding. We gain depth. It is the same way with our relationship with God.

I have four daughters and I deal with each of them at their level of understanding. All four of my daughters’ lives began in simplicity. But as they grow and experience life, they grow in their understanding of the complexities and difficulties of their world that they were incapable of perceiving at a younger age. My job as their mother, is to prepare them for the complexities and difficulties of life that they will inevitably encounter. If I were to continue to relate to my teenager as a five year-old, I would never prepare her for all that she will encounter as she matures. On the other hand, if I were to attempt to relate to my five year-old as a teenager, I will expect things from her that she is not yet capable of understanding.

It is the same way with ministry. We deal with people at various stages of spiritual growth and understanding of God. When we speak of deeper things, those who have not experienced those things are baffled. When we speak of simpler things, those who long for the deeper things are frustrated and demand more. A good shepherd is able to maintain the balance. When you minister solely milk, the mature starve. When you minister solely meat, the immature choke. Discernment is needed to know how to give the proper food at the proper time, because the goal with both milk and meat is preparation. Ministers are called to work according to the will of God in a person’s life, discerning the leading of the Spirit in such a way that they help bring sheep to maturity and to prepare them to stand before their Lord.


(Matt 5:7) Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

(Matt 24:45,46) Who then is the faithful and wise servant whom the master has put in charge of his household, to give the others their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whose master finds him doing so when he returns. 

(1 Cor 3:1-3) Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual, but as worldly—as infants in Christ. I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for solid food. In fact, you are still not ready, for you are still worldly...

(Heb 5:12-14) Although by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to reteach you the basic principles of God’s word. You need milk, not solid food. For everyone who lives on milk is still an infant, inexperienced in the message of righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained their senses to distinguish good from evil.

Here There Be Dragons

I thought I would find You in the light 

I thought I would grow in understanding
By the sound of Your voice
But it was here in the darkness
That I have come to know You
In the silence, I am able to discern Your voice

My flesh says that You are not there
My eyes tell me that I am alone
But You bring to my remembrance
That I walk by faith, not sight
That I hear with my spirit, not my ears

You said You desire those who will worship in spirit and truth
Yet we strive to know You with mind and reason
You emptied Yourself on the cross to show us the way
Yet we endeavor to fill ourselves with things that will pass away
We long for You, yet we resist
We cry out to You, yet shake our fist
We think “He is trying to kill me!”
Yet, You are
Because it is our death
Which ends this war

How many have you brought to this dark place
This plateau of silence
To teach them hope
To work into them perseverance
To increase their capacity for You
Yet instead of hope, they give way to doubt
Instead of perseverance, they give way to fickleness
Instead of increasing capacity for You
They stay filled with themselves

Break us, O Lord
Break us from the notion that self is safe
Yes, self is safe but You are costly
Break us, O Lord
Break us from the notion that the fig leaf hides us
Yes, the fig leaf hides us but You expose
Break us, O Lord

So many think they walk in light
But their light is darkness
It is only an illusion
I thought I was sitting in the dark
But the darkness was light
It was only an illusion
Those who see, are blind
And those who are blind, see

So many think they hear
But they only hear themselves
It is only noise
I thought I could not hear
But faith speaks silently to the heart
Silence is the sound of Your voice
Those who have ears to hear, let them hear
Those who have ears in their spirit, rather than their head

Contentment upon the plateau of silence, hope in the midst of darkness
You work into us the gamut
This is true wisdom, this is Your image
You ask, “Are you willing to endure the gamut?”
To know the beginning from the end, the Alpha and Omega
The range of being:
Utter joy from utter sorrow
Utter understanding from utter ignorance
Utter life from utter death
To know You is to know the gamut 

To know contentment whether silent or speaking, whether darkness or light

This is the place light seeks to shine forth
From here, the light reaches every space
It seeks the deepest place
The furthest reaches
But so few are willing to travel here
We want to bring our own light with us
We tremble before the maw of darkness
We writhe in the agony of “wait”

Yet You say, “Hush child and be still
It is here that you must trust
Listen child, and you will
Know Me the way that you must
Here there be dragons that lurk in the dark
Do not fear them, only believe
Believe that I will never fail you
For it is the proof of your trust that brings you reprieve”


(Psalm 139:7-12) Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed In Sheol, You are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle by the farthest sea, even there Your hand will guide me; Your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me”—even the darkness is not dark to You, but the night shines like the day, for darkness is as light to You.

Back To The Basics

Father, forgive me for everything I’ve ever done in Your name on my own initiative 

Father, forgive me for being guided by my own heart rather than Yours
Forgive me for confusing my noble ideas
With Your sovereign will and plan
Forgive me for attempting to teach righteousness
When I had yet to allow You to thoroughly sift my own heart
Forgive me for judging others’ sinfulness
When I should have asked You to judge mine
For comparing myself to others
When I should have only compared myself to You
For putting them under a microscope
While You were gathering them under Your grace

You bring us to the mirror
You show us our sin
We weep and we mourn
And then we strive to please You
We strive in our good works
We proclaim, “Be good! Be good!”
Not understanding that there is no good
Outside of Your Son

You let us exhaust ourselves in our own goodness
You let us crow and stomp and rant and rave
You let us pour out condemnation
You let us accuse and throw others into the grave
Until we finally see
Our righteousness is rags
Until we finally see
“There is no one righteous, not even one”

Oh Lord, thank You for showing me
That I can never be good enough
Thank you for teaching me
That I can never do right always
Thank you for revealing to me
That I can never measure up
You have brought me to the crux of eternity
You have made known my critical need
You have worked Your Spirit into the quick of my soul 

You have provided Your eternal seed

You have shown me the truth of my very being
And now I see, there is no goodness in me

I confess, “I am poor in spirit”
And I mourn as I confess
I humble myself before You
As I hunger and thirst for righteousness
Let me be merciful to those who need You
Oh Lord, make me pure of heart
Use me as a peacemaker
That I may truly be a Son of God
Let me not be a persecutor, instead of the persecuted
Oh Lord, please hear my last request
Let me not be one who insults, instead of one who is insulted
In Your Spirit alone, may my soul find rest

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the humble and gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you,
And falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. (Matt 5:3-9)

(Luke 18:9-14) And He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt: “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God be merciful to me, the sinner!’ I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Blessed Destitution

This morning as I read through the Beatitudes, I lingered at the first one. The very first thing that Jesus tells us in His magnum opus to His followers is: “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” The word that Jesus uses for “poor” in this verse is rooted in a Greek word that literally means “to crouch or cower; bent over”.

As it is used in this verse, Jesus is describing someone who is utterly destitute and solely dependent upon the mercy and benevolence of someone else to fulfill their basic needs—like a beggar dressed in rags, standing on a street corner begging for a handout. Therefore, as the first Beatitude, Jesus seems to be communicating that the very first thing we must become aware of as a people who are being formed to reflect the glory of God, is our utter and desperate need for Him and dependence upon Him. Jesus essentially says, “Blessed are those who comprehend their spiritual destitution, blessed are those who come to God with outstretched hands, seeking the only One Who can meet their spiritual need and fulfill their spiritual hunger, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Thus, I find the second Beatitude perfectly fitting: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” When we come face to face with our true spiritual condition and comprehend our utter hopelessness without the benevolence and mercy of God, we are undone. All illusion of any modicum of goodness in us comes crashing down, and we fall on our face broken and crushed before a holy God. The word that Jesus uses here for “mourn” is a word that means “guilt-ridden grief”. This word is used to describe the grief of the merchants at the destruction of Babylon-the-great, throwing dust on their heads and “crying out, weeping and mourning and saying ‘Woe, woe...’ “—inconsolable, hopeless, utterly undone (Rev 18:19).

I find it remarkable that in the Beatitudes, Jesus is basically telling us that this is the way we enter heaven—broken and undone, mourning our spiritual lack and our desperate need for God. The only way to enter heaven is essentially the polar opposite of pride and self-sufficiency such as that embodied by Satan himself. We see at Ezekiel 28:17 and Isaiah 14:12-14 that it was the illusion of self-sufficiency that caused Satan to stumble—the illusion of righteousness and spiritual completeness apart from dependence upon God. Which is why I also find it remarkable that this is the same error that is made by the lukewarm Laodicean church in Jesus’ letters to the churches at the beginning of Revelation.

In Jesus’ rebuke to this church, it’s as if He is bringing them right back to the first two Beatitudes. He rebukes them for being under the illusion of self-sufficiency and spiritual completeness, despite their casual attitude about their relationship with Him. He tells them they are blind to their true spiritual condition: “...you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked” (3:17). That is how God sees any attempt at righteousness outside of His Son, Jesus Christ. That is what our good works—outside of Him working through us—look like to God. That is why Jesus specifically tells this church to “buy from Me…” (3:18). He points them to the only true source of goodness and spiritual completeness—Himself.

(John 15:4-6) Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me, you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers. Such branches are gathered up, thrown into the fire, and burned.

(Romans 13:13,14) Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.

(Gal 2:20,21) I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. I do not set aside the grace of God. For if righteousness comes through the law, Christ died for nothing.

(Posted on Facebook 12/23/2020 Talitha Koum)

Good Enough

People don’t mind Jesus, as long as He keeps His distance from their good works. But as soon as you start telling people that they will never be good enough for Him, you poke a hornet’s nest. As soon as you start pointing out that our own righteousness is an illusion, you find yourself fighting against the same spirit which fought against Christ during His ministry.

Last night, the Spirit showed me how our knee-jerk reaction to rampant sin in our midst is typically to focus on teaching righteousness. But He said that is the wrong response and the wrong direction. The right response to rampant sin in our midst is to preach Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, because it is only He Who can save us from sin. We must direct people’s minds to Jesus as Messiah, because it is only He Who can impart true righteousness in us. It may not make sense to many in the church that the answer to rampant sin in our midst is to preach Jesus Christ, instead of focusing on what the Bible teaches about righteousness, but what we must understand is that the only righteousness that God accepts is that which is in His Son. Thus, true righteousness can only be properly understood in the context of Jesus Christ within you.

Last night, the Spirit asked me, “What is the difference between the righteousness of a Muslim and your righteousness? If you both teach that idolatry, sexual immorality, and murder are sinful? If you both practice righteousness in that regard?” What He wanted to communicate was that a Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist can all practice the same righteousness as a Christian, but the delineating factor between a Christian and all others, is Jesus Christ. The foundation of righteousness in a Christian is the righteousness of Christ manifesting itself through a surrendered vessel. It is not necessarily what we “do right,” but more so Who we have within us. The only way we can ever be “good enough” for God, is to become one with His Son. God’s favor rests only upon His Son, Jesus Christ. True righteousness is only found in Him.

Unless your righteousness comes from Christ within you, unless it is you bending yourself to His Spirit at work within you, your righteousness is rags. Satan doesn’t mind us preaching righteousness, but what he cannot bear is for us to preach Jesus Christ. Because it is not our righteousness which frees us from enslavement to Satan—only Jesus Christ can do that. What we must understand is that the Antichrist spirit is religious. Essentially, it is religion “in the place of” Christ. It puts itself in His stead. It opposes and exalts itself over the truth of God in Christ, seating itself in God’s temple, proclaiming to be God—God without a cross. We must understand this in the days to come, or we will believe the lie because it will be shown that we love our own righteousness more than our Lord’s. It’s time to wake up little flock.

(2 Thess 2:4) He will oppose and exalt himself above every so-called god or object of worship, so that he takes his seat in the temple of God, displaying himself as being God.

(1 John 2:22,23) Who is the liar, if it is not the one who denies that Jesus is the Messiah? This is the antichrist, who denies the Father and the Son. Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father, but whoever confesses the Son has the Father as well.

(1 Cor 1:26-30) Brothers, consider the time of your calling: Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were powerful; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly and despised things of the world, and the things that are not, to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast in His presence. It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, Who has become for us wisdom from God; our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

(Posted on Facebook 12/21/2020 Talitha Koum)

Fit For The Burn Pile

If I am not encouraging people to go deeper with Jesus Christ, to seek Him in His fullness, then everything I’ve ever written or done in Jesus’ Name is useless and vain. It is trash which is only fit for the burn pile.

We serve Christ to the utmost when He uses us to ignite a hunger for Him within others—when what we say or do for God awakens people to their lack, rather than satisfies them with the illusion of their own fullness. We must never teach God’s word in such a way that gives people the notion that they are made right with God because of their adherence to a certain teaching. Our teaching must only draw people’s minds to a deeper understanding of their salvation and their Savior. The Gospel of Jesus Christ emphatically teaches that we are made right with God because of what Christ did on the cross and that we are made acceptable to God because of our faith in Jesus Christ, plus nothing else (Rom 3:22-26; 5:1,2). And our subsequent, necessary obedience to the laws of God is only and ever because of Christ being formed in us, and our ever-lessening acquiescence to “self”—all due to the power of God Who works mightily within us (Col 1:28,29).

All doctrine and theology must pass through the lens of Jesus Christ, as the Head of His Church—He is Master, Shepherd and ultimate Teacher (Col 1:17,18). Teaching His word without His heart only serves to harm the sheep and confuse them as to the true voice of the One Who calls them (John 10:3,4). Our job as servants of the Lord is to be used by Him to draw people to Him, not to provoke division in the Body. Jesus is the One Who divides the sheep from the goats (Matt 25:32), His angels are the ones who divide the wheat from the tares (Matt 13:39), but we preach Jesus Christ as Lord (2 Cor 4:4-6).

The Body is not unified because we teach Scripture or preach righteousness. The Body is unified because we preach Jesus Christ. The Body reaches unity in the faith through knowledge of the Son of God; the fullness of His Body is reached when we attain to the “full measure of the stature of Christ” (Eph 4:13). Do you understand brothers and sisters? Our ordained commission is to make disciples of Jesus Christ, teaching them all He commanded (Matt 28:19). And first and foremost, He commanded that we believe upon Him (John 3:18; 5:24; 6:47; 12:44; 20:31), and that He must be lifted up to draw all men to Himself (John 12:32). Thus, it is the preeminence of Jesus Christ in our minds and lives which will unify His Body.

I do not know exactly what the days ahead hold for us, but we are in a “shaking and a tearing-asunder” of all things not of God and His Christ. Only that which glorifies His Son will stand. Beloved, this is what we must understand in this time: God hates both our religion and our sin and the only way we can be delivered from both is utter devotion to His Son, Jesus Christ. He, and He alone, is the Chief Cornerstone upon which what is built will be acceptable to God. Everything else will be tossed into the burn pile.

(Col 1:28,29) We proclaim Him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I also labor, striving with all His energy working powerfully within me.

(Eph 4:13,14) …until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming.

(Matt 13:29,30) “No,” he said, “if you pull the weeds now, you might uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: ‘First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat into my barn.’ ”

(1 Peter 2:6,7) For it stands in Scripture: “See, I lay in Zion a stone, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who believes in Him will never be put to shame.” To you who believe, then, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, “The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone”…

(Posted on Facebook 12/19/2020 Talitha Koum)

Knowing Him In The Darkness

This morning, as I prayed on the hay loft steps, I asked God to grant me spiritual eyes that I may see. After I said that, He began to minister to me about sitting in the darkness.

There have often been times when I go through things or I pray about things and I find myself saying to God, “I feel like I’m just sitting in a dark room trying to feel my way around.” I think for many of us, we can sometimes feel that we are just sitting there in the dark, praying, trusting, waiting for the slightest movement or the faintest light to break forth. But we just get that awful silence and seemingly never-ending darkness instead.

This morning, I thought back over my prayer life and marveled that so much of it seemed like I was just groping along in the dark, trusting that God was listening and that He was there with me even though I couldn’t see Him with my eyes. And then the Lord ministered to me in that very moment, that during all the time I have spent praying over the years, He was teaching me to “see” His form with spiritual eyes. I realized in that moment, that I know what His hand “feels” like. I am intimately acquainted with the “shape and feel” of it because I have held it so often in the darkness. I know His form because I have clung to it in the darkness for so long.

That is true spiritual sight—when you don’t see Him with your eyes, but you know His form in the darkness. When a thousand hands could try to pass themselves off as the Lord’s, but you forsake them all because you only know the feel of His and His alone. When a thousand voices call your name, but you hearken to only one. I can tell you this, if there were a hundred people with me in a dark room, I could easily tell which one was my husband just by the touch of his hand. And so it is with us and our beloved Lord. Once we put our faith in Him, we belong to Him and we see Him in the darkness as if we were in the light, because He is our light regardless of where we are or what we are going through.

Just like a baby knows only darkness while in the womb as it grows, yet it is surrounded by its mother the entire time and hears her voice day after day—so it is with us, as we are shaped and formed into the image of God’s Son. And just like once a baby is finally born, it knows its mother instinctively and intimately—her touch, her smell, and especially her voice—so it is with us and our beloved Lord.

(John 10:3-5) The gatekeeper opens the gate for Him, and the sheep listen for His voice. He calls His own sheep by name and leads them out. When He has brought out all His own, He goes on ahead of them, and His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will flee from him because they do not recognize his voice.

(John 10:26-28) But because you are not My sheep, you refuse to believe. My sheep listen to My voice; I know them, and they follow Me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them out of My hand.

(Psalm 139:11-13) If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light become night around me”— even the darkness is not dark to You, but the night shines like the day, for darkness is as light to You. For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

(Posted on Facebook 12/17/2020 Talitha Koum)

Relegating To Religion, Or Clinging To The Cross?

Jesus dealt with various wicked spirits during His ministry on earth, but the last one He tangled with on the day of His death was the religious spirit. The same one that mocked Him and spit in His face because He would not forsake the cross. 

You cannot argue with this spirit because it will argue Scripture with you nine ways to Sunday, just like the religious leaders during Jesus’ earthly ministry. It is devoid of genuine meekness, confident in its understanding and teachings and perception of religious things. It compels human beings to use God’s word to create divisions and factions, deceiving them to believe that they are teaching righteousness and serving God— when in reality, they are being used by the enemy to provoke division among believers. 

You will never be religious enough to suit them. The cross is conspicuously absent from their teaching. The focus is more on how we can be righteous by our “right understanding of this or that teaching”, rather than what it means to die in Christ, to glorify His work on the cross, and to join in His sufferings. It is subtle and deceptive, seducing us with the illusion of our own righteousness instead of our dependence upon Christ’s. It is the amassing of pupils and inculcating hope in religion, rather than pointing people to their only Savior and hope, Jesus Christ. 

Beloved, I know this may sound harsh, but I am sharing this by compulsion of the Spirit. What God wants His people to understand in this late hour is that He hates our religion. He hates the religious spirit that Christ battled throughout His ministry. It is this Antichrist spirit that led to his crucifixion— the religious spirit that is full of pride and arrogance and self-righteous certainty. The spirit that puts itself “in the place of” Christ. The spirit that people follow “instead of” Christ— religion instead of Christ, our righteousness instead of His, our works instead of His work: the cross He died upon to show us the way. 

The time is coming, and now is, that we will be called upon to make our stand. And when we do, His glory will rise upon us because it will be shown that the only thing we are standing upon, the only thing we teach and proclaim— is Him. 

(Matt 5:11-12) Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you.

(John 15:26-16:3) When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father—He will testify about Me. And you also must testify, because you have been with Me from the beginning... They will put you out of the synagogues. In fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God. They will do these things because they have not known the Father or Me.

(Posted on Facebook 12/16/2020 Talitha Koum)

Desperate For A Savior

The other morning my husband found my dad’s empty meth stash. My mom has stage-4 kidney cancer and my dad has been staying with us to help us fix up a place for her to live on our property. I suspected my dad was using again, and I asked my husband to try and confirm it.

My dad is a drug addict and an alcoholic, and I swore I would never put myself in a position where I had to depend on him again. My dad left me and my mother when I was about 2 years-old. But when my mom came to live with us this past Spring, it seemed like the only option we had at the time was to ask for my dad’s help. This is real life for so many people besides me. There are people in the church who, just like me, have a parent who is a drug addict or alcoholic. Or who have children who are drug addicts or alcoholics, or siblings who are drug addicts or alcoholics. There are people in the church who are trying to overcome sexual abuse, or who are dealing with sexual abuse. This is real life on planet earth for so many.

You cannot minister to people like this by offering them their “best life now” because we aren’t looking for that. We are looking for a Savior, not a Disney-version of Jesus. We are so far beyond any cookie-cutter version of God that much of the church seems to offer nowadays. We don’t care about promises of financial prosperity or “5-steps to a happier self”. We are hungry for a real, sovereign God Who offers much needed salvation from a very broken world and a life full of hurt and disappointment. We are desperate for a God Who can reach down into the mess with a strong, sovereign hand and draw us to Himself and never let us go.

We need a God Who knows what it is like to be human. A God Who was born in a barn to a young couple who weren’t quite sure what they were involved in. A God Who has experienced real life in this broken world. A God Who knows what it’s like to be betrayed and lied to and rejected. A God Who can show us how to love those who have hurt us, because He lived it—because He was hurt by those He loved, and He loved them back anyway.

Maybe you need a God like this too. And beloved, I would love for you to know Him. His name is Jesus Christ.

(Matt 1:20-23) …an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which translated means, “God with us.”

(Isaiah 9:6,7) For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be upon His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish and sustain it with justice and righteousness from that time and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of Hosts will accomplish this.

(Posted on Facebook 12/14/2020 Talitha Koum)

The Muddied Path

As I walked out to the barn this morning, I only looked downward, watching my feet take each step. I never looked up to see what lay in my path ahead. When I got to a mud puddle, I stepped over it or changed direction to go around it, but I never looked up to plan my route to the barn. I just walked along, only looking at how I was walking, rather than where. 

As I walked, I thought about how I usually like to see where I am going. As I walked, I kept fighting the urge to look up and look ahead. I really wanted to look ahead and see the best path to the barn, the quickest path, that would avoid all the mud puddles. But God ministered to me in that moment that often times, when we want to look out ahead of ourselves, when we want to see where we are going so we can plan our best route, what He really wants us to do is just focus on each step. Often times, He’d rather us just stay focused on how we are walking, and simply trust that He will lead us to the “where.”

Beloved, sometimes the only thing you will be able to see is your feet. The furthest ahead you will be able to look is your next step. And perhaps you will even find yourself in front of a mud puddle— a small one you can step over, or a big one you will have to walk around. You will have to trust that even though you can’t see out farther ahead to plan your best route, God is already leading you down the route He has planned for you. And even though you may find yourself in front of some pretty deep mud puddles, God’s route is always the best route. No need for us to see out ahead. 

(Psalm 139:16-18) Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be. How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God, how vast is their sum! If I were to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; and when I awake, I am still with You.

(Rom 8:28-31) And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

(Psalm 37:23,24) The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; Though he falls, he will not be overwhelmed, for the Lord is holding his hand.

(Posted on Facebook 12/12/2020 Talitha Koum)

Dying Together

One of the most intimate things that you can experience with your spouse is to die together— to hold onto each other as you go through a trial that tries to tear you apart, but that God ends up using to shape each of you into something precious and sanctified for Himself. 

A marriage will be shown to be what it is truly built upon when it goes through something like that. When both husband and wife cling to each other as their flesh dies, as self is crucified, each refusing to let go of their beloved. As they cry out to God, “Even though you slay me, yet I will trust in You. I will not abandon this one I have called my own” (Job 13:15). 

This is a picture of us and Christ. Our relationship with Him is shown for what it is truly built upon when we encounter trials that Satan tries to use to tear us apart, but that God ends up using to strengthen our faith and shape us into something precious and sanctified. When we cling to Christ as our flesh dies, as self is crucified, refusing to let go of our Beloved, we are brought into a place of true intimacy with our Lord. 

As My husband and I laid in bed this morning and gazed at each other’s face in silence, a tear began to roll down the side of my face as I thought of Genesis 2:23, “...bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” I thought of God telling us that this is why a man leaves his father and mother to be united with his wife and they become one flesh. And in that moment, the Holy Spirit brought the weight of the reality of Christ and His church flooding into my soul. 

Jesus left His Father in heaven to become “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” with His church. To cling to His everlasting bride who has become one flesh with Him. And as we go through all sorts of trials and persecutions together, we cling to each other, crying out, “Even though you slay me, yet I will trust in You. I will not abandon this one I have called my own.”

(Gen 2:23,24) And the man said: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for out of man she was taken. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

(Mark 10:5-9) But Jesus told them, “Moses wrote this commandment for you because of your hardness of heart. However, from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

(Song of Solomon 8:5-7) Who is this coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved? I roused you under the apple tree; there your mother conceived you; there she travailed and brought you forth. Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unrelenting as the grave. Its sparks are fiery flames, the fiercest blaze of all. Mighty waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If a man were to give all the wealth of his house for love, his offer would be utterly scorned.

(Posted on Facebook 12/11/2020 Talitha Koum)

Rising Up Together, Or Looking Down Alone?

There was a time in my ministry efforts for the Lord that I never prayed for anyone else’s ministry.

I was so focused on my own ministry efforts, that it was almost like I was in competition with brothers and sisters in Christ, rather than co-workers with them. About a year ago, God brought this to my attention and I fell before Him in shame. I saw the ugliness that was hidden in my heart, I saw it for what it truly was: selfishness and ambition. We can continue for a very long time with this hidden in our heart as we pursue ministry for the Lord. There are so many ways that it disguises itself. But one of the best ways to root it out, is to start praying for others to receive what you want from God.

I will confess to you, that this may sound simple, but indeed, it is not. It will crucify you in a whole new way. When you are racked with longing for a deeper understanding of God and for Him to reveal Himself to you in profound and meaningful ways, and then God tells you to pray for someone else to have your very heart’s desire….well, there is an excruciating death that takes place. But what we must understand is, that is the very answer to our prayer. The answer to our prayer to have a deeper understanding of God and for Him to reveal Himself to us in profound and meaningful ways, is to walk in the very steps of Abraham up to the top of Mount Moriah as he willingly offered up his heart’s desire back unto God. Believing, in faith, that such a death to himself would only lead to a greater intensity of relationship with God.

I can’t really put into words why it was so difficult for me to pray for others to know God and be used by God to the same degree that I was asking to know Him and be used by Him. Fear, jealousy, envy, selfishness? I don’t really know. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wanted people to know God deeply, but there was always a part of me that wanted to know Him just a little bit better….”Oh Lord, I prayest that thine people would knowest You and I thank You for allowesting me to knowest You just a little morest than they…”

But here is the truth that Christ wants His people to understand: our equality is only found in our vulnerability. As long as any of us try to stand just a little higher than the other, the valleys are not filled and the mountains and hills are not made low (Luke 3:4,5). The way of Christ is for us to lay down our life for our friends, to truly kneel down in the dirt as we tenderly wash their feet. This doesn’t mean that He expects us to rescue each other from our trials or to fix each other’s problems, but to pray for each other to know Him, just as we long to know Him. To pray for each other to be brought to maturity, just as we seek to be brought to maturity. To pray-- with genuine longing-- for others to be used by Him, just as we long to be used by Him.

(John 15:12-14) This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you.

(John 13:14-16) So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example so that you should do as I have done for you. Truly, truly, I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.

(Matt 20:25-28) But Jesus called them aside and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.”

(Isaiah 40:4,5) Every valley shall be lifted up, and every mountain and hill made low; the uneven ground will become smooth, and the rugged land a plain. And the glory of the LORD will be revealed, and all humanity together will see it. For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

(Posted on Facebook 12/10/2020 Talitha Koum)