I took my 3 year-old and
my 7 year-old to a birthday party at the skating rink after church today. I didn't wear skates, but I walked beside my
3 year-old as she made her best attempt to stay upright for more than three
seconds at a time as we slowly circled around the rink, hugging the wall. She was determined to skate, you could see the
resolve on her face. Every few moments
the skates would spin out of control and she would fall down, but before she
even hit the ground she was already trying to get back up, undeterred. Over and over, she fell. Over and over, she got back up and tried
again. Each time, before she got up, she anxiously looked up at me to see what my reaction would be. After falling for the
five-hundred-and-fifty-eleventh time, she looked up at me and said,
"Momma, are you mad at me?" As I looked down at her I
said, "No baby, I'm not mad. I'm
just trying to help you stay on your feet.
I'm not going to leave you. As
long as you are out here trying, I'm going to stay out here with you and help
you."
I often try to do the
right thing and I fail. And sometimes
I'm tempted to look up at God and ask, "Are you mad at me?" I'm tempted to think that He gets frustrated
at watching me fail over and over again.
I tend to unconsciously project human weaknesses upon God, such as
impatience and frustration, forgetting that His character is the embodiment of
perfection. It's hard for me to imagine
someone like that, someone utterly incorruptible, because I am so encased in
imperfection and it's all I've ever known.
I often expect God to lose His patience with me like I do with my own
children. So I often feel myself anxiously looking
to God every time I fall down, to see what His reaction is going to be. And I have to remind myself that God loves me
far more than I could ever love my own daughter and His words to me would be
far greater and far more loving than my words to her: "No my daughter, I am not mad. I'm just trying to help you stay on your
feet. I'm not going to leave you. As long as you are out here trying, and even
when you're not, I'm going to stay here with you and help you. I will never, ever leave you."
"Be strong and
courageous; do not be afraid or terrified of them, for it is the Lord your God
Who goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you...The Lord Himself
goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deut 31:6,8)
"Do not fear, for I
am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will
surely help you; I will uphold you with My right hand of righteousness."
(Isaiah 41:10)
"When you pass
through the waters, I will be with you; and when you go through the rivers,
they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be
scorched, and the flames will not set you ablaze." (Isaiah 43:2)
"I will make an
everlasting covenant with them: I will never turn away from doing good to
them, and I will put My fear in their hearts so that they will never turn away
from Me." (Jer 32:40)
"...and surely I am
with you always, even unto the very end of the age." (Matt 28:20)
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