Big Yellow Bus

I have this fear that pops up occasionally, like a lone Lego in the middle of the living room floor that keeps getting stepped on.  Actually, I've got a lot of those pesky Legos I seem to repeatedly step on in my life, but one of them is the fear that somehow God won't actually pull through in certain situations.  I fear that He won't, in fact, provide what is needed in certain situations.  Like, one day He's just going to pull a thread from the proverbial "rug of circumstances" and let the whole tapestry fall apart, and I'll just be left standing there looking at a big, messy, knotted pile of mismatched yarn, which would equate to a big, messy, knotted pile of my unanswered prayers.

For the most part, I'm content to persevere in my faith as long as everything seems to be working out according to plan.  As long as I can piece the circumstantial puzzle pieces together in a way that makes sense.  As long as I can seemingly "foresee" some purpose or direction.  But once I catch a whiff of the possibility that my big, yellow bus full o'faith might careen off a cliff into purposelessness or failure, all I can focus on are the jagged rocks of despair and fear below.  I begin to imagine having to collect all my precious-- albeit bent and broken-- puzzle pieces from among the crags in the rocks, strewn from one end of the unknown to the other; the sharp, jagged rock edges pricking me and scraping me as I go, serving only as a constant source of discouragement.  All this vivid imagery, all this provocative emotion, all while still safely inside my big, yellow bus full o'faith that is still safely on the road.

It's times like this, when I look to the example of Abraham's faith.  God told him that he would be a father of many nations.  So it made sense when God promised Abraham he would have a son, despite the elderly condition of himself and his wife.  Abraham could put his faith in God's ability to make his elderly wife conceive a child.  He could have faith in a God that big.  What didn't make sense was when God told Abraham to kill the son He promised to use to bring forth those many nations (Gen 21:12).  No son = no many nations.  That didn't make sense to Abraham.  Those circumstantial puzzle pieces weren't fitting together.  That big, yellow bus of faith was headed toward the cliff and down onto the jagged rocks below.  But as far as we know from scripture, Abraham didn't spend a whole lot of time concocting a litany of worst-case-scenario possibilities in his head.  As far as we know from scripture, Abraham went chips-all-in, he poured out all his faith onto God's promise, there was no plan "B".  Abraham had faith in a God Who was big enough to handle all circumstances, even the ones that seemed to render His own promises void.  Abraham had faith in a God Who cannot lie and Who keeps all His promises, so when God told Abraham to kill the son from whom He was going to bring forth many nations, Abraham reasoned that God would just have to raise him from the dead to do it (Heb 11:19).  Abraham believed in the ultimate sovereignty of God-- a God Who is not shaped by our circumstances, but rather, a God Who shapes all circumstances.

Surely I'm not the only one who is guilty of freaking out while God is still holding me safely in His hand?  Because that's the simple reality of the matter-- when we fret, we do it while we are being held in capable hands.  God is exceedingly capable and more than willing to hold us in His hands.  After all, we are His, we belong to Him-- His eternal treasure and dwelling place (1 Cor 3:9,16,17; 2 Cor 6:16; Eph 2:22).  

Sometimes I can be Noah's ark, and sometimes I'm just a leaky, feeble vessel.  Sometimes my rug of circumstances seems like it will hold together, sometimes it doesn't.  Therefore, something I have to continually remind myself, is that it is Christ Who holds our "rug of circumstances" together, "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." (Col 1:17).  It is Christ Who is the "pitch and tar" that fills the leaky spots in our ark (Gen 6:14).  It is Christ Who is the Author and the Perfecter of our faith (Heb 12:2).  Which means that no matter what direction it looks like our big, yellow bus o'faith is headed, it is always in capable hands and it is always headed closer to God.


"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Heb 12:2)

"The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of His nature, upholding all things by His powerful word. After He had provided purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high." (Heb 1:3)

"And He Who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." (Rom 8:27,28)

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you." (Isaiah 43:1,2)